DARIN'S ENGLISH ADVENTURE

WHAT A TRIP

2005-06-02T12:38:29Z

Before you know what's happened, things change on you. Things have been changing a lot here in the past few weeks. Kids are hunkering down, trying to decode their textbooks and cram their short term memories in time for their finals. Others, like myself, are taking stock of all the miscellany accumulated over the past nine months and deciding what goes and what stays. Some people are going out to dance for the last time with their friends, finding themselves all teary eyed under hot pink lights, wondering if it will ever be the same again. Still others are in denial, continuing with their routine as though all of this will still be here in a month.

The truth is that everything that has been built up over the last nine months, all the relationships, grudges, hopes, and feelings, will never be the same. It's all been part of this very insulated environment; a tiny place where we've all been thrown together whether we like it or not. Foreign students like myself will be leaving with only memories, photographs, and email addresses. Out of one context and into another, just as you were getting used to things. There's a part of me that wishes I could somehow boil this place down and swallow the essence, just to prove in a tangible way that I was here.

I've imagined many times being back home again, sitting on my bed, and thinking all of this has been a dream because everything is the same, yet inside I still feel different. Like a reverse time capsule that's kept America in suspended animation while I go off gallavanting in England, discovering new habits and rejecting old ones. I'm sad because I imagine all that is the same will somehow conquer over all that has changed, and I'll be dulled back into what I was when I left. But it's just a fantasy. There's nothing I can do to hold on to England. I can't take it with me, and that's good because otherwise, how would I grow beyond it? That's what it's all about. Growing and changing. It's time to be rolling along.

WHEN ART GOES BAD

2005-05-22T12:54:07Z

I love art, and artists, but I have to admit that sometimes art goes bad. Very smart people with all the best intentions can sometimes falter and create something terrible. I have done the same myself many times, but only in private. When such blunders are carried out on a larger and more public scale, I am compelled to give my two cents. Come and see what I am talking about...

Around the university these random phrases have been written on the buildings. At first I didn't know what to make of them. This was the first sign that something wasn't right. I soon found out that these phrases were quotes from the notebooks of a former teacher here at the university. Apparently this man was much admired, and these phrases were put up to commemorate him. Has he died? What was his name? When did he teach here? These questions remain unanswered, which in a way undermines the whole idea of commemorating him, doesn't it? It's a nice idea, putting up these words in his honor. But all the phrases are so inane and pointless that I would be embarassed if they were mine.

Now, I don't mean to say that art projects such as this shouldn't be attempted. I just wish someone would have put some more thought into it. If you want to show how much you admired someone, don't cover their former workplace with stupid things they've said.

JOSY THE GOOSE

2005-05-22T12:37:18Z

This is Josy, a goose. She's been camped out, sitting on her eggs for weeks now. I see her when I walk back from the library and I say hello. She's not very talkative, but it's clear she has other things to think about. Yesterday I saw some kind folks feeding her some breadcrumbs. She's also been given a waterdish; an anonymous donation. I'm not sure when her eggs are due, but I'm sure she's looking forward to getting up and walking around.

I'M RECORDING IN THE STUDIO

2005-05-07T23:18:57Z

My band is in the recording studio. Come hear about it. See some pictures.

Here's James on the left. He's the lead singer of my band, Earthbound. He also writes all the songs, and plays rhythm guitar. The other chap is Kevin, who obviously is our bass player. We recorded today for about eight and a half hours straight. I always loved playing in a studio environment, because I'm in a space dedicated to music, and I get a chance to put my playing under a microscope. This is a time when I can check myself and see how I'm doing musically. So far things are sounding great. I have my quips here and there, but I have to say I'm very happy with how things are turning out.

This guy with the long black hair is our drummer, Simon. He smells really bad, all the time. Apparently he simply doesn't shower. Leave him in a room for ten minutes, and it will smell like B.O.

Here's James getting ready to do some overdubs. At the desk is Andrew, our engineer. I worked in a studio for a short time a couple of years ago, so I know what it's like to run a session. You have to be very patient. You also have to be nice. He does both very well, which made the day go quite well.

Going into the studio got me thinking about a lot about the music I listen to. All the bands and artists I love have gone into a studio to record the music that I know them by. Even the Beatles, musical gods that they are, went into the studio to record their music one piece at a time. They stood together in a room just like my band and talked about what they wanted to do. You should play softer here. I like that part. What if you did a lead part here? I think a fill would help the transition to the chorus. I don't like the tone there. etc. etc. All this talk flew around and somehow they ended up with songs that we all know and love (or at least we OUGHT to). Realizing that this is how music gets made opened my eyes and removed some of the more romantic notions I have always harbored about music. Of course there's something else going on with the Beatles: they wrote timeless songs. All that studio talk was simply about getting their songs recorded and delivered as a band. That had never occured to me before. I have a long way to go.

I'M WATCHING MOVIES A LOT

2005-05-04T17:25:28Z

Yes it's true. It's that time of year again. Finals. I can hear the wolf cry at night, and the rooster caw in the morning telling me to get my ass out of bed and start studying. So far I've been watching about two movies a day, with a bit of reading in the evening. Today I watched 'Rebel Without a Cause', which I watched to keep me sane while I sift through the intellectual minutiae of other films. My opinion is that 'Rebel' is actually a bad movie in which James Dean is very very good. All the other actors are so wooden and false. James Dean's father is a particularly bad actor. He always seems to be on the verge of smiling in a very bad way. I must say watching three or more movies in one day is a lot like running a marathon. After a certain distance, you don't even notice that you're running anymore. You forget what it is you're doing really. Where you came from. What you'll be doing later. This is good in a way because it means I'm totally in 'film land' and there are no distractions. It's bad though in the sense that I'm being anti-social. I haven't spoken to my flatmates in two days. I'm a terrible person, I know.

I've been reading a lot with the hope that I'll be more inspired to write. This is important to me because in the next year I need to write and direct a really good movie. I've been jotting down little scenarios in my notebook as they occur to me, and so far they've yielded some interesting ideas. This is promising, because it shows that I'm going in the right direction. But it's like trying to get out of a noisy party: you meet interesting people all around you, but you really have to work to find the guy who will tell you how to get the fuck out. Sigh. Well, back to film land...

A FUNNY HEADLINE YESTERDAY

2005-04-30T13:19:11Z

British tabloid The Sun ran a headline yesterday regarding Tom Cruise's lovelife. According to the not-to-be-trusted newspaper, Tom is dating a virgin. This would have been petty and crass had the headline not been "Missionary Impossible". Go ahead. It's ok to laugh.

P.S. Inside was the article title "Frisky Business". Zing!

MY TRIP TO NICE, FRANCE....FULLY NARRATED

2005-04-30T10:51:47Z

Hey everyone. Come on in and see some French pictures, and listen to my voice in your head.

Before you ask, yes it is true. They DO call a big mac that in France.

Here's a nice overview of Nice (no pun intended). It's a coastal town located on the South West corner of France, sandwiched between Monaco on the East and Cannes on the West. It's the 5th largest city in all of France. During the summer months the population quintuplezillions because everyone who has a vacation house there comes and plops themselves down. Luckily while we (my friend Kim, my travel buddy) were there we managed to wade our way through the crowds with no significant tragedies.

Here's a view of Rue Paradis, the street on which our hostel was located. It's supposedly the most expensive street in all of Nice because every shop is a high class designer store with names like Armani and Gucci on the outside, and even some names you've never heard of such as Faconnable. Faconnable? ""Hey I like your shirt." "Thanks. It's Facannable." Ha ha. Silly French!

Sunshine was what greeted us when we got to Nice. Kim read a weather forecast which predicted rain and gloom for our week in Nice. Luckily this turned out not to be the case. As you can see, all the buildings got a nice tan. The building on the right was solid white when we got there. Soon it had developed a healthy glow.

Of course there's the beach. This is a view of the Promenade de Englis, or "The English Street." It's a five mile stretch of road that runs along the beach. The only drawback was that the beach was rocky, not sandy. My feet are still bleeding.

The Nice harbor (no pun intended). This is where all the movie stars house their yachts, and where you can catch a ferry to the nearby island of Corsica. We weren't able to catch said ferry because it left too late for us to spend more than an hour on the island. My eyes are still teary.

A typical street in Old Nice. Little shops are everywhere here. The candy is absolutely the best you could hope for. Lots of sunglasses, too. Interesting fact: Nice is very fashionable, so it's actually hard to find a pair of understated sunglasses. Everything is either ridiculously large, small and chic, pink or silver, but nothing that looks good on Darin.

I had to put in a pic of me somewhere. This is me and Kim. She's from New York state, not New York the city. She's a great girl, and a fabulously patient travel buddy. I'm still surprised that I didn't drive her crazy.

All along the beach front there are little restaurants. They're actually very high-class affairs. Many of them offer sun tan chairs for ten Euros. Isn't it dreamy?

Another view of Nice. What character. What history. If you ever get a chance to go...go. You won't regret it. I realized that spending a week in one place is the only way to go if you REALLY want a vacation. I forgot where I had come from by the fourth or fifth day, and it allowed me to just completely relax. Try it sometime. Go. I'm serious. Go!

I MADE A SHORT FILM TODAY!

2005-04-15T22:40:47Z

Although this picture has little to do with filmmaking, I thought I'd post it anyway. It was taken on Wednesday night at the birthday party of my flatmate Tysen (American from Ohio, on the right). The girl on the left is Tyler, and in the middle is a girl from Estonia named Anna Lisa. Estonia! Never have I met anyone from there.

At long last I have touched a camera once again! After more than nine months since my last film I finally broke down and made a short today. I wrote the script about two weeks ago. It's about a girl named Samantha who's stranded on campus because she doens't have enough money to make it back. Lost in her isolation she throws away letters from her boyfriend and tries to find some sanity for herself. It's not really a plot-oriented piece, I know, but it actually turned out quite good. I just finished editing it all together and I'm quite pleased. A few things need to be re-shot, but overall it's a good little film. It's ironic because it doesn't really resemble the film I wrote originally. I changed a lot of things around in the editing, but it's all for the best. I hope someday I'm able to commit to an initial vision for a film and see it through all the way, rather than changing things as I go along a lá Francis Ford Coppola. This will be a problem if I ever become a professional, because producers and financiers like getting what they are promised. Ah but wouldn't it be nice to do this for a living?

This Sunday I'll be departing for Nice, France. Fingers crossed for nice weather (pun intended). My essays aren't finished, but I don't care. I'll work on them when I get there!

VACATION PICTURES WITH DIRECTOR'S COMMENTARY

2005-04-07T12:47:42Z

I recently took a trip to Scotland and Wales. Come on in and see some pictures. Hear some stories!

To begin at the beginning, here's the first picture I took in Edinburgh, Scotland's capital and most picturesque city. This is a view of Edinburgh castle, which is a tough place to conquer by siege, let me tell you. It was taken once, but only because the occupants were forced to surrender when the castle's well was destroyed. It is protected by no less than seven gates, and its position atop this formidable rock mountain means one thing...awesome! Don't know who that guy on the horse is. I should look that up.

Another view of Edinburgh, this time of the Sir Walter Scott National Monument, which is that Klingon-looking pointy-thing on the right. It's the largest national monument in all of Scotland, standing some 9,000 feet in height. Walks to the top come with complimentary ambulence service.

Hamish the Scottish cow. He was saved from slaughter during a mad cow disease scare in the early nineties. Since then, he's become a bit of a celebrity, smooching with the queen (of England) and appearing on tv. As you can see here, he's all charm. He almost impaled my travelling partner, Mollie with his horns. Beware of the horns.

Just below the William Wallace National Monument, there is this wood sculpture. According to local legend, this statue was made in a fit of inspiration after the artist saw the movie Braveheart. It closely resembles Mel Gibson, an Australian man. Ostensibly, the face of this statue was destroyed by the natives. Now rebuilt and restored, it's kept under close watch at night. William Wallace was six foot six. Mel Gibson is five foot seven from what I hear. According to local legend, anyway.

Here's me, unshaven but happy, under the Welsh sky in Breccon Beacons national park. Though windy, the warm sun and bright, open landscape reminded me of home.

Another picture of the picturesque Welsh countryside. It's not hard to see why the south of Wales is a big vacation spot for English folks. The weather is very mild, and the open countryside is much more Mediterranean than the rough and barren English land.

While in Wales, we stayed in Cardiff, the capital city. Here is a view inside Cardiff Castle, a big feature of the town center. Yes, that is a peacock standing before you. It was walking around the courtyard. Apparently most castles had such birds on their grounds, so this adds to the historical spirit. Peacocks make terrible screaming sounds, in case you didn't know.

Another castle we visited, Caerphilly Castle. I took a few too many pictures when we were there. This one gives the best sense of the layout of the castle. It's built inside a large moat, making it a difficult one to conquer by force. Not much more to say about this one. It's no Edinburgh Castle....

This is Coch Castle. It's not an authentic medieval castle, but rather it's an 18th century reconstruction of one. It was built to be a romantic, classic castle, so it looks like something out of a fairy tale. Look at it glow!

That's all for my Edniburgh and Wales tour-de-force. Some conclusions....it's worth spending extra cash on a hostel, because you do get what you pay for. Conversely, it's not worth spending a lot of money on food, because you don't have to. I ended up eating out every night, and I paid a lot for it. I'll be going to France at the end of this month, so hopefully the lessons learned from this will pay off when I'm there. But it's all worth it. Travelling is a blast, and there's a subtle reward you get from seeing a new place that only blooms larger as time goes by. Give it a go, mate!

THAT'S A FUNNY WORD

2005-03-03T15:05:00Z

It's been snowing off and on. It seems to come in short bursts of about 15 minutes or so, and then it fades away. Lately I've been waking up to piles of snow covering the ground and hanging from the trees. This melts off with the midday sun, so it's not much fun.

I read a lot last night, so much that it surprised me a little. I don't consider myself to be an avid reader, so when I sit down and plow through a book for more than two hours I feel a sense of accomplishment.

I'm about to start work on a group project for my creative writing class. The concept for my group is that our story takes place on a cruise ship, and our respective segments are adapted from mythology. My story comes from the Grimm's Fairy Tale of Mr. Fox and his cheating wife, Mrs. Fox. In the tale, of course they're real foxes, but in my adaptation he's a rich fool and she's a clever deceptionist. I'm going to make it into a comic, too. That's something I haven't done in years, draw a comic book. But I can still draw, so it won't be a disaster I'm sure.

Funny that word, comic. Painfully inadequate and childish. Sort of like 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend' when you're in your thirties.

I've been altering my myspace profile over the past few weeks. At first I replaced all my information, including my name, with decimal points. Then I replaced certain information with symbols, like £ for my name and ™ for my occupation. Now I've remade my whole identity. My name is Sierra and I'm a 16 year old girl from Camden, Ohio. I suppose all of this is thoroughly ridiculous, but I think it's quite funny. I've been repelled by the baseness and superficiality of people on myspace and friendster, but in all fairness an internet profile can never be anything but a superficial portrait of a person. I think I'm more or less embracing that idea rather than fighting it. For all anyone could care, I am a 16 year old girl from Ohio. The internet can give you nothing but dreams and fantasies anyway.

I've been having a recurring dream. I'm back in America for one day only. I scramble to visit people that I've missed for so many months, but it just doesn't come together. Traffic jams. Fights. Schedules. Everything seems to get in the way, and in the end I have to go back to England empty handed. I think this means that I miss home. I've met great people here, and I've learned a lot, but I don't love it here. I wouldn't ever want to live in England. America is my home, and that's never going to change.

MY BAND'S WEBSITE

2005-02-25T12:15:37Z

Is here:

www.earthboundrock.co.uk

I look at my guitar too much when I play. Look at the pictures and you'll know.

A SPRAWLING INTELLECT

2005-02-04T17:37:13Z

Went to the library today after a recommendation from my creative writing teacher to check out some noetbooks from famous writers as a way of getting ideas. I had planned to steal some ideas if I could, but I got something else instead. Upon perusing the notebooks of Henry James, which are voluminous and sprawling, I came to a realization about creative people in general and writers in particular; they possess a massive curiosity which can only be satisfied by constant contact with their craft. Artists fill notebooks with little scribbles of people they see, the way a cloth drapes over a chair, a pet cat or even their own feet. DaVinci's notebooks are filled with meaningless things like the floorplans for buildings in his neighborhood, and a cross section of an erect penis. Writers fill their notebooks with every little overheard conversation, little thought, and casual observance that they can grasp onto. Twain wrote in one of his journals: "I have yet to see a good looking woman in this town." Musicians are dreaming music at all hours, humming to themselves and splurging their melodies and harmonies into recorders or onto a page of manuscript paper. Beethoven was thought of as unusual and antisocial by the townsfolk because he was constantly stopping in the middle of the street to write some notes into his book.

All of this is obsessive behavior by conventional standards. It's easy to imagine the thoughts of those who watch this unusual display as passersby. Why are you drawing that towel? It's so boring! Why are you writing down the things I say? That's so rude! Why are you humming to yourself? That's so annoying! Why are you taking pictures of me? I'm ugly!

Orson Welles was abnormal when he was young. He had only one friend in school, and everyone else avoided him for his unusual behavior. One of his teachers resigned because the 9 year old Orson would persistently question the lesson plan and offer his own perspective. Of course Welles went on to become a world famous super genius. I don't expect that fate for myself, nor do I think I'm quite as inhuman as Welles, but it is reassuring to know that to feel like no one understands you isn't always a bad thing. In the meantime I'll keep writing in my notebook.

BEING STRAIGHT WITH YOURSELF

2005-01-24T03:46:47Z

Is important. Sure. But to elaborate...

I have a lot of dreams. I want to be a famous and respected musician. I want to be a film director of similar repute. I want a lot of things, but up to this point I've been spreading myself too thin, trying to make it all happen at once. What I haven't done is step back and look at the bigger picture. I can do anything I set my mind to, but I can only do one thing at a time.

I think I've grown up a lot since that guy came into the bar and offered me a job. Oh and by the way, he emailed me after looking at my drawings and said that they weren't what they were looking for, but that's beside the point. The point is that I've had what alcoholics refer to as "a moment of clarity."

Before my dreams of artistic excellence and public acclaim can become a reality, I have to be able to make some money. I have a lot of raw talent that needs honing and polishing before that can happen. I need to learn some basics, and take baby steps for a year or two. But whereas before I would try to deny this with adolescent impatience, now I accept it happily. The idea that what I want can be achieved if it's broken down and worked on carefully and patiently is comforting. It means that it's possible for me. I can do this.

So with this mental clarity will come a cleaning of the house, so to speak. I'm dropping my theater work for the time being. I'm simply not interested enough in the work to learn from it, so it needs to go on the shelf for now. Its time will come. Right now I can sense a breakthrough with my music. I've been writing little things here and there, singing and playing guitar more, and I sense that in the next few months something's going to click and I'm going to make a breakthrough. I'm ready for that. The time for that has come. So this is what I'll be putting my energy into principally.

So it's not about having any false hopes, nor is it about giving up your dreams. It's about being honest with yourself. Being straight with yourself.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING TO HAPPEN?

2005-01-18T02:29:55Z

It's only a matter of time. The world's going to change and everything that was rock solid for me before will become vacuous and transient. Such is life, after college.

This thought was aroused once again by a chance encounter with a nice man at the bar yesterday. A discussion came up about what I was studying. I told him it was film, and then I told him about how I did all the storyboards for my movies. He asked if I was any good. I am, I said. He tells me he works as a coneptual artist for Sony in London and he may be able to offer me some work if my drawings are up to snuff. I'm going to send him some stuff tomorrow, but in the meantime it got me thinking:

I've been drawing since I was two years old, but most of that time I've drawn from my head, just pure fantasy. Rarely have I bothered to draw from life. If I think objectively about it, I know that I'm not good enough technically to compete with other professional artists. So I've spent my life doodling, never really discipling myself to break out of old habits. My loss, really.

It's one thing to philosophize about a discipline and think of what it could mean, and how to approach that meaning intellectually, but it's another to be skilled and disciplined enough to be employable. What skills do I have that I could go out and make money with right now? Am I good enough to compete for a job? Can I honestly say that I can direct films at a professional level, or play guitar well enough to hold my own on any session? I can't really. So where does that leave me? What's going to happen to me?

ALL OVER THE PLACE

2005-01-01T03:22:34Z

People surprised me tonight. New Year's eve, an idiot tried to buy alcohol from me and I tell him he's had enough; I wouldn't serve him. Then a few minutes later I see him bringing a pint up to his lips. He'd had a friend buy him one, incognito. I went over to the guy and pulled the pint from his lips. Of course he kicks and moans and ends up being thrown out by the doormen. Stupid stupid man.

Then I made a round through the bar holding a bucket for donations to the Tsunami Disaster Relief Fund. People gave all the spare change they had. More than one person gave 10 pounds. I was humbled and completely surprised by their generosity. Everyone gave something. Even amidst all the nonsense loud music drunken alcohol soaked madness, people put money into the bucket on their own accord. I collected 70 pounds in just five minutes. I was, and am, genuinely moved.

...

2004-12-31T01:07:23Z

I can't believe it. I had heard about the Indian Ocean disaster but I have only just now read the articles. I watched amateur footage of the waves hitting the coast of Sri Lanka and I have to say I haven't felt that way since I saw the towers come down on tv more than three years ago. It's simply unbelievable. My hands were shaking and my mouth was open as I watched the waves on my computer. Millions of tons of water going close to 500 miles per hour. The devastation there on the screen, and the sound of people running for their lives. One video, shot at a wedding reception on a balcony, showed the water sweeping away the entire landscape. The sound of the women crying off camera is something I never want to hear again. I was genuinely afraid as I saw their town being swept away, ripped apart so violently by a sheet of dark water. I don't even know what to say, it's so unthinkable. 120,000 dead. Rich and poor alike have been murdered brutally by this horrendous event. It makes me angry now to read an article in the Times about how Bush is using this as an opportunity to prove to the world that America isn't selfish by giving aid. He deserves a slap across the face, that son of a bitch.

So please donate if you can. I've taken up a collection at my work, and I've donated $25 myself. Even a little bit helps. Don't feel you have to give a lot to make a difference.

CHRISTMAS CARD TO YOU ALL

2004-12-28T01:53:54Z

Hey everybody it's not xmas anymore, but here's a belated card anyway. Brian Lane, Tyler Fosse, and myself had a nice quiet british christmas. We made a polite dinner, and played some modest games of operation, and watched some subdued movies.

I ended up writing a song with that guy to my left. He wrote the lyrics and I wrote the music to a song called "Sketched for the Wastebin." It's a nice song in a minor key, and it's hopefully the start of a good stream of songs that I'll be starting soon. I think he and I could be the next great Elton/Bernie or Parks/Wilson songwriting duo. Working with him was pretty cool cuz we share musical sensibilities. Even though he doens't play an instrument or anything, he knows what he likes and he's quick to point out what's working. I have to admit that what we ended up using for the guitar part was something I would've thrown out. But I'm not very experienced with the whole songwriting thing so I guess I need to stop thinking like that!

See the Incredibles. It's a great film, and it's pure fun. That's all I have to say. And once again, Merry Christmas to you all!

NEW DEVELOPMENTS

2004-12-21T04:03:22Z

As the world turns, Christmas begins, and a swirl of calm nostalgia inhabits the landscape. England is no exception, but the din of work has been keeping that calm at bay lately. I'm working almost every day now. I did ask for more hours, but I hadn't anticipated such a downpouring of work. Be careful what you wish for I suppose.

My band lost the battle of the bands. I'm not too broken up about it, though. Honestly my band is very derivative. Our sound is not our own, and although catchy, our songs aren't very substantive. It's fun, but I expect no revelations to happen with this band. But it was a pleasant surprise that a club manager came up to us and offered a paying gig in town after the new year. That's cool. Very cool. Fuck the battle of the bands. That's cool.

Last Friday Tyler organized a mini-concert on her now-vacant flat. Performing her own songs was Tyler, performing three covers was me. I was very jazzed to finally sing in front of a group of folks, and I got a lot of compliments on my performance. I'm a singer now. Soon I will write my own songs. And then I'll have a band which will not be generic like 99% of other bands. Ah, ambition. I have too much of it I think.

Speaking of ambition, I've been reflecting on what I've done with my life up to this point, and where I'd like to go. Film directing is for me, I think. Film suits me because it encompasses all other art forms, which I'm really good at, into another seperate one. And it really challenges me on all different levels. It's not as from-the-gut as music, but it gives my brain something to chew on more than music does. It also keeps me on my toes as far as dealing with other people is concerned. I have to be a great politician to be a good director, and that skill is important and it appeals to me.

So I've been plotting out my career as a film director, as silly as that sounds. I really want to be a professional film director, and I'm willing to do the work necessary to make that happen. Am I going to be good enough? I almost don't care about that. Thinking about that won't do me any good right now, because now's the time to work on making something happen.

Well, on that note that's about all for now. Merry Christmas, all, and a happy new year!

IT'S BEEN SO LONG

2004-12-13T23:17:07Z

...since I updated my journal properly. I suppose I should take the time to do that now, while I take a breath from the essay madness that has occupied my time for the past week.

So what's been happening? A flurry of things, really. I went to see the Beastie Boys in London last week. It was a Tuesday, almost one week ago. I was sick at the time, so I didn't enjoy the concert as much as I could have. I still love the Beastie Boys, and they're great fun live. They really were all about having a good time, and their songs are quality bits. I wish more acts these days had that ethos with their music. But before I become a grumpy old man, let's move on.

So I was sick at the concert, and coming out I almost puked. Not quite, but almost. My chest started to fill with pressure, and it became hard to stand up. I attribute this now to over-exertion, but at the time I attributed it to the wrath of God.

Trains in London change direction. A simple fact, but it became a harsh lesson when our train did just that at 11:40 PM, twenty minutes before the last train out of London left Liverpool Street Station. Our train home was now out of reach. What to do?

My companions were adament that we go to a club. I had never danced with chest pains, but I didn't anticipate having a ball. I went with them thinking there would be some place to lie down at the club. Clubs aren't built for lying down. Another lesson learned. I tried to find a hotel room, but none in the area had any vacancies. I stumbled my way back to Liverpool Street Station, thinking I could make a bench my bed for the night. Liverpool Street Station closes at night. Another lesson learned.

I found a park bench and lay down, feeling the pain in my chest slowly deflating. I sighed relief, but only for a small time as a police officer approached me and told me to move on.

I found a cab driver, related to him my situation, and asked his advice. I may be able to get a cab back to Colchester for around 80 pounds, he said. I'd have to find a driver who lives there, though. I'll forego the small bits (I never found said dirver, but did find a mini-cab driver who hires for cheaper rates and goes longer distances) and skip ahead an hour later, at which time I'm in a cab listening to my ironically bookish cab driver tell me about his theories of world power and its relation to the court system. The drive home took about an hour and a half, and I was never happier to find myself in my bed at 5:00 in the morning.

But that's all over with now. What's ahead? Tomorrow I'm performing "Sitting on the Dock of the Bay" with Tyler (me playing guitar, her singing and playing tamborine) at the talent show. That same night is the battle of the bands wherein I'll be playing some screaming leads with my pop punk band Earthbound. I really don't like their music. Somebody help me! I hate pop punk! But it does give me a chance to play in front of people, and next year we may have a regular gig with a full set list and everything! Ah.

Well that's enough of a break for me. I have to prepare a presentation now on Faulkner's "A Light in August." Can't wait for this week to end. Talk to you soon!

WHICH JONNY DEPP CHARACTER ARE YOU?

2004-12-05T19:17:31Z

You Are Gilbert From "What's Eating Gilbert Grape?"

You are very giving and self-sacrificing. You're always there to lend a helping hand to family and friends. However, this generous nature often robs you of fulfilling your needs and desires, and may cause you to become resentful. Find a way to balance your kindness with your independence.

Take The Johnny Depp Quiz!

HER MAJESTY THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND

2004-12-02T01:25:43Z

So the Queen of England came to visit my university last week. What happened at YOUR university last week, chump!?

The security was in full force. Police were everywhere, conversing with each other in hushed asides and gathering in clumps all over campus. Classes were, or course, cancelled.

In addition to the regular uniformed police there was a large constituency of plain-clothes policemen with their oh-so-obvious earpieces. And the way they would send paranoid glances over their shoulders, as in this shot, was a dead give away. I don't trust policeman in jeans.

And here she comes! I waited for two hours in the cold because I was promised some photo passes by the photography society. I waited. They never showed up. I cried, and the tears froze on my face.

The students and faculty were there in full force. Ironically there seemed to be a great apathy toward the queen amongst the British students. "Oh who the hell cares," was the general consensus. Maybe 20 years in England would make me jaded about the queen. I'm already jaded about the president, so why not a queen?

And here she is! The gent on her right is a mysterious man who is not her husband, but who may or may not be Prince Phillip or the Duke of Edinburgh. A jovial chap from what I hear, if indeed he is who he says he is. She's a bit small, isn't she? Love that hat.

You may be wondering why the Queen came to visit Essex University. Well this year is our 40th anniversary, so...why not have the Queen come and make an appearance? You see England being a very small country in comparison with the states, she could conceivably do this for every University in England and still have time for afternoon tea. Except she doesn't, and there's no such thing as afternoon tea here. And there's no Santa Claus, either.

People really like the Queen, as you can see by the picture taking madness occuring in this photo. She's probably the most famous person I've ever seen from such a close angle, except Bono. I saw him drive by in a limo once. Bono's more famous than the Queen.

Long live the Queen!

THE FLU, THE FLU, THE FLU, THE FLU....AND MUSIC

2004-11-21T22:36:00Z

I've finally done it. I've got the flu, again. I had it Fresher's Week, and now it's returned. Welcome back, flu! Come in, sit down, put your feet up, take a load off, eat my body alive! Sigh. Wanted to go see the Incredibles today with my friend Vikki but I had to call it off. Feeling a bit better now, but only better enough to walk around my flat and smile a bit.

On a lighter note, I'm in a band! It's my first band ever, so it's a momentous occasion. They're called Earthbound, and they're kind of a pop-punk Blink 182, Ataris kind of band. I played with them on Thursday and they were impressed with my guitar playing skills, although not so much with my singing, which I'm prepared to excuse given the fact that I was singing into a bad PA system and I couldn't hear myself.

We're going to be playing in the battle of the bands here on campus in December, so hopefully that goes well. Right now it's just solos and rhythm parts, and the possibility of some background singing. My hope is that I'll be able to learn something about songwriting and keeping a band together. In the meantime I have to shake this flu if I'm to be of any use to anyone next week, so I'm off to bed once again. And maybe I'll finish the Lord of the Rings; the ultimate sick in bed movie!

P.S. The Queen of England is coming to visit Essex University next week. If all goes well, I'll have pictures and a more sufficient explanation for her visit soon!

KING LEAR AND MY QUEST TO BRANCH OUT

2004-11-12T00:36:56Z

The rumors are true. I'm playing the King of France in Essex University's latest production of King Lear. Our first read-through was on Tuesday, and I decided it was worth being nosy so I could take some pictures.

This is our director, Gemma Mayes. She's very nice, but at times she seems in over her head. You can see what I mean in this picture.

The second chap from the left is Mark Pierce, who is clearly the best actor in the cast. His reading was effortlessly real, and hopefully we'll be able to work together in the near future.

The girl you see peeking out from under Gemma's chin is Tamzin Steel, which is an incredible name. I love her eyes, as I'm sure you do.

So far the cast hasn't really gelled. Most of them are upper classmen who are familiar with eachother, so I have the perspective of a freshman, trying to acquaint himself with the people in the cast. I'll keep you posted on how this is going.

WHAT CHANGES AND WHAT STAYS THE SAME

2004-11-04T14:42:11Z

And so it began. Another four years. I could complain, but there are plenty of people who will be doing enough of that for me. What's done is done. There is no justice to discontent, but there is peace in positivity. Here are some things I am grateful for...

I am grateful for "SMiLE," the long lost masterpiece that has been finished at last by Brian Wilson. It is better than "Pet Sounds," and it is something that lives up to the hype. It is something of quality and complete goodness because of its originality and positive musical energy.

I am grateful for my flatmate Will, who has rekindled my love for Jeff Buckley by lending me cds and books from his collection. I have a new found love and passion for music thanks to him.

I am grateful to my Mom for getting me a camera for my birthday. Photography is now a major creative outlet for me, and I have begun to express myself through my pictures in a positive and healthy way. This expression has helped to diffuse some of the stress that school and friends can sometimes build up.

I am grateful to my new friend Marie who has opened my eyes to the power of meditation. I have a newfound creative energy and verve for each day because I can quiet my mind and open my heart.

I am grateful to my friends, because in them I see qualities I aspire to. Knowing that they are my friends humbles me, and makes me eager to share my life with them and others.

I am grateful for great works of literature, because I have felt the buzz of anticipation when a book is a part of my life.

I am grateful for my creative talent, in music, drama, writing, film, and other art forms. It is more than most are privileged to have, and I don't take mine for granted.

I am grateful for my country, because it is my home.

A SAFE, FUN, AND PHOTOGENICALLY BRITISH HALLOWEEN

2004-10-31T22:46:28Z

From the left there's Desiree (German), Darin (American), Geraldine (French), and Tysen (American). I'm supposed to be dead, and it looks like I pulled off the look. We're about to go out, and you can sense the excitement.

Ironically this night wasn't much different from most nights save the costumes. This meant that we all danced as usual while I took interesting pictures. Plus when people have costumes on they usually look more interesting on the dance floor. Of course not many costumes are visible in this picture.

A lot of flats were very gung ho about dressing up. This flat is obviously one of those, hence the buzz lightyear costumes. Other gung ho flats: ghostbusters, ninja turtles, etc. I wish I was gung ho about something. Certainly not ninja turtles. Maybe books. Yeah. Books.

The grind of the dance floor in the lovable dance club called Mondo. The music here was better than the other two clubs, so I stuck it out here most of the night. Here's also where I got the brilliant idea to use the flash on my camera. You don't wanna take more than five flash pics in a row though because that's when you start to spoil people's dance reverie. I spoil these things with my picture taking, but most people thank me afterwards.

My flatmate Desiree LOVES to dance. She's talked to me about how when she dances, she loses track of the world around her. I think you can see a bit of that in this picture. A sidenote: Desiree has a face that can, for lack of a better word, seduce the camera. Tyler is the same way. I love taking their pictures. I guess you could say that they're my muse, those two.

That's Halloween, everybody! It was safe, fun, and photogenic. What more could you ask for?